At work yesterday was pretty good! But towards the end it got a little nuts. My computer froze and I had a guy on the phone that wouldn't shut the fuck up. A blabbing, mad, idiot said that he couldn't play a video on his online course which, if it were me, I wouldn't give a fuck about. Funny thing is, he said he had patience, but whenever I talked he would just interrupt. I talked to my co-workers (which are awesome mind you) and they said not to worry about it. I guess the good thing is I documented everything and spoke nice to him on the phone (since the calls are recorded). He ended up saying he wasn't mad at me, and at some point, I think he felt bad for yelling since he knew I was trying to help. Another funny thing is he was taking classes because he wanted to get into IT work. Good luck with that! LoL. But like I said, it could've been much worse.

Then while this was going on, my computer decided to not work on me. I finally ended the call with the guy and had to restart my computer since it didn't even function. Usually you have to email everyone to let them know you're rebooting and I couldn't even do that! So I asked one of my co-workers what I should do because I am just really self-conscious because I just started. He just said it shouldn't matter too much, but just email some of the managers about my PC issue. So the computer came back up from rebooting, I logged back in, and all the changes I made to my profile were GONE. It's hard to explain, but basically there are TONS of applications on the computer I have to use for work, and they all have their own settings. But, I logged off, and then logged back in and everything was fine. So weird.

I guess my first day really wasn't that bad and I'm just really hard on myself. My last job, I could care less about. The job was SO stable that you could really do anything you wanted (to a certain extent). Since my last job was at a hospital, the only way you COULD get fired was talk about a patient to other people. Basically it's a privacy law and if the hospital found out you said something you shouldn't have, they'd can your ass. My last job was just so dead-end with nothing to do and a co-worker that was a couple hairs shy of being a KKK member. You may think I'm joking but, i really am not. I guess i'm really happy that I have this job. I never thought I'd like doing helpdesk, I still don't, but I guess it's because of the people I work for/with. There are so many possibilities that exist because the company is growing and I just see lots of potential for myself. At least I am getting paid which feels so good.

Part of me wants to take the money and get whatever I want, but the other side of me wants to be simplistic and get the things I need. One of the things I need is a couch... The other? A shower head. Hahahaha. I suppose a new computer would be next because this one is just SOOOO slow. And to think at one point it actually was a functioning (and fast) computer.

Right now my apt is a mess and I really need to clean. But I'm just lazy and that prob won't happen TOO soon. I think my messiness makes my apt look full-er (if that's even a word). Hahaha.

Well, there have just been a lot of things I have been thinking about and I guess these are the latest things. I just realized I have to pay some bills but at least I have a job that will help that. I consider myself lucky. I went driving this past Saturday up to Keystone and saw some Bison and Elk on the way up there. It was during sunrise so everything was just so fuckin beautiful. Then I said to myself that I live here, I have friends now, I have a job, and I can go snowboarding at some of the greatest resorts in the country. It was a really good feeling.

In some ways I still am kind of lonely tho. There are some nights where I had a girlfriend, or a least a girl that I knew that was a friend and would come over. LoL. Then I think to myself, "would my aerobed stay together?" LoL. I think you know what i mean. I'm convinced that no matter how nice this Aussie girl is, I still think she's ignoring me. Never really talks anymore and when she does, it's just long pauses to when she has to answer. I just ended up putting her on my "offline list" on my facebook. She says her MSN doesn't work anymore so i wouldn't be surprised if she just blocked me entirely from MSN. I guess I just won't talk to her anymore. Maybe after awhile, I'll just say hi and see if she talks to me again. There's a girl Karen that I haven't talked to in awhile either. Since what.... July? I've emailed her a couple of times but no response. I sent a text and whoever was on the phone, asked "who's this?" Maybe her phone got stolen? Maybe it was her? Oh well. I guess people come and go and only the best ones stick around for longer. I guess nothing's permanent. I guess I'm just noticing that the people I once knew, are fading away. I wonder if they really liked me in the first place. But, I really can't complain. I have a job and that's what means the most right now but maybe some day soon someone will come along. I talk to a girl in Utah but she has a bf. She reminds me a lot of this Aussie girl so, if i were to choose a replacement, she would be it. Since the Aussie girl doesn't really talk to me, I guess I really don't wanna go to Australia anymore. Altho I do have a friend Bill who's in Australia so, he would be the only one I saw. I would bet a million bux that if i visited Australia i would probably just see him. The Aussie girl would prob make up some shitty excuse not to see me. But the utah girl. She's nice. I guess I have more respect for her. She's friends with my brother's wife too. Can't fuck that up. But I was thinking to myself, even if she started liking me and I won the lottery to go out with her or whatnot.... i don't think she would ever leave Utah. Seems like she has too many friends there. So, yea, I'm attracted to her but i don't think anything would come of it. I want it to, but that's prob cuz i'm lonely. I see pictures of the Utah girl and wow. Not to mention she has a great ass. LoL!

I talk to my family now and then from NY. Seems like they really miss me. I really miss them. I REALLY REALLY miss my dogs. I think that if I did have a dog in my apt, i wouldn't be as lonely, but it's SO expensive. It's like 400 bux/month. OH and there's a 75 lbs weight limit. I love big dogs. I suppose if I were to get a smaller dog it would be a beagle. My bro and his wife have a beagle and he's a good dog. I like the bigger dogs cuz I get to wrestle with them a little. It should be fun to see them next month for X-Mas.

Which makes me wonder what I'm going to get for my family. I have some things already bought, but I still need to do some more. It's hard cuz I really don't have TOO much money, but at least my job will allow me to relax in spending a little. I'm sure I"ll find something.

But I guess if there's anything that I'm feeling right now. Is just loneliness. I guess i'm thankful for my snowboarding friends. They have been great. If I don't have to work on Thanksgiving, my friends said they may all get together for dinner. Haven' heard anything about it since but I still don't know if I have to work or not. If I do, Oh well. I have Friday and Saturday off. Besides, I will have a week off for X-mas. Thank god I scheduled my flights before I started working. Not even that, but I scheduled my flights before I had the job.

It feels really good to get all of these things out of my head and on here. I guess a good thing is that no one that i know closely knows about this. I get to write what I want and not worry too much.